Why do Americans have a bad name? We were in the Eiffel Tower, when a certain exchange took place. In fact it wasn't an exchange at all, because only one person was running her mouth (guess what country she was from?). Here is my first hand account of this situation, including my thoughts, the American (as I quickly found out) woman's words, and what I think the French attendant was thinking.

Background: We are filling up the elevator to go down the tower. I barely make it in; we are packed like sardines. I'm concerned that the door will close on my head. As I ponder my imminent demise by crushing or asphyxiation, I see a small Italian-looking woman with a 2 year old and a stroller cut the line via going under the rail and move quickly in our direction. One would think there is no way this woman actually plans on getting in this very elevator at this very moment, rather than wait for the next one. One would be wrong.

*French attendant: Seems hesitant to let American woman in the elevator.
*American woman: Comes in anyway.
*American woman: Gets impression that French attendant was waiting for her husband.
*American woman: "Why do you think we were waiting for someone? What gave you that impression?"
*My thoughts: Judging by her English, this woman is American. She is also quite agitated. I hope she doesn't embarrass the United States. I consider throwing her off the tower before it gets ugly. I regrettably hesitate.
*French attendant's probable thoughts: "Here we go again...man I hate Americans."
*American woman: Presses again. "Why did you think it was more than just the two of us?"
*My thoughts: Probably because many women with small children are accompanied by a husband or father. Where is baby's daddy? Can I assume from your anger that he isn't waiting for you at the bottom of the tower?
*French attendant: Says something in French, roughly translated as "I dont speak English".
*American woman: "What did you say? Did you say something about Americans?"
*French attendant: confused, borderline becoming frightened.
*French attendant's probable thoughts: "I didnt F**KING SAY ANYTHING!"
*American woman's 2 year old: starts crying
*American woman: (to child) "Yes, shes being mean to us."
*American woman: (to attendant) "See? Even my two-year-old knows you're being mean to us."
*French attendant's probable thoughts: "Death to America."
*My thoughts: "No, your two year old is probably upset because he knows full well that is mom is a b*tch."
*American woman: (to child) "Yes, I cant wait to leave France and all of its rude people. Leave France and never ever come back."
*My thoughts: "I'm sure the French people will be heartbroken over their loss. Just please don't come back to the States.
*Myself to French attendant after American woman gets off elevator: "I apologize for her behavior, she was completely out of line."
*French attendant: "I dont speak English"

The situation actually was a bit longer than this; I'm forgetting some parts. But this is the gist of it. Outside of the elevator, Kim told her that in fact she hadn't been insulted. Turns out this lady was from San Francisco. Go figure. Do grown people really act like that in foreign countries? That is humilitating. No wonder the USA has a bad name.

Another funny story about Americans. Sometimes when you buy the metro tickets, they don't work when you slide them through the machine; the doors don't open. So this lady who is probably 45 is trying to get her thing to work, and it won't. Meanwhile her husband and three kids are on the other side of the gate. She is totally freaking out. Shes like screaming at the French guy in the information booth that the gate wont open but that she paid for the ticket. Her kids are telling her to calm down. Her husband tells her to relax. The ticket guy is ignoring her (French people can be assholes) and she just gets even more upset and panicked. Finally she jumps over the gate. A 45 year old woman. It was hilarious, and...embarrassing.

And whatever, French people can be pompous. But seriously if you are high strung or get frusterated / panicked / angry easily, you shouldn't be allowed to travel out of the US. The US government should force people to undergo psychological tests before coming to Europe because seriously you need patience to get by in this place. You wait EVERYWHERE. Imagine going to the BMV 9 times every day. Its like that. People that can't handle it shouldn't be allowed to come here, otherwise, they give us a bad name =0.

I'm going to post again soon I think. In Amsterdam now. Actually have a decent computer with a good keyboard (of course the French have to change everything around). I'll have comments about London and Paris overall later today, tomorrow, or whatever.

Nick out. Lots of Heinekin to drink. Its my favorite beer and its pretty much all they sell here.